Daddy

Daddy –

A year ago today I woke up and felt a flicker of excitement as I realized you and Mom would be returning from Oregon. You had only been gone for a couple of days, and yet I had missed you. Being neighbors and traipsing across the pond to see you was such a natural part of our lives… such a sweet part of my days. I talked to you on the phone as you cruised through Idaho, expecting to eat dinner with you that evening and hear happy stories of your beautiful new home and your time with Amy, Michelle and Ryan. The phone call I received early that afternoon flabbergasted me.

As I drove over the pass towards the hospital, weeping and praying, I couldn’t imagine God would really take your life. People survived heart attacks every day, and you were a fighter. You were strong. And you were needed. Your life made a difference and you were, to my thinking, not even close to being finished with the good you could do on this earth. As I reached the bottom of the pass another phone call came. Erik was sobbing as he told me that you had gone to be with Jesus. I couldn’t believe it then, and I still have a hard time believing it today. You were so full of life, so vibrant, so giving. You loved with your whole heart… served with your whole heart… embraced your calling and service with a whole heart. Was your heart simply so great and so big that it could no longer fit inside your earthly shell? Was such a loving and beautiful heart fit only for Heaven?

I imagine you in Heaven, Daddy. I imagine you singing with joyful tears on your cheeks… the way you would sometimes in the car when a praise song touched you deeply. I imagine you enjoying all the beauty of Heaven… and the freedom of body no longer bound by the hindrances of injury or age.

There are so many memories. I am so thankful you are my dad. That you were the one God chose to raise the four of us. My last memories are of that week at Lake Powell in September. I remember you chopping vegetables for your scrambled egg breakfast, so happy to be serving all of us. I remember you taking Elisa out for an evening boat ride, and playing with us in the water. I remember watching you out on the kayak… mostly I remember you loving patience. I remember you coming up behind me and kissing my head and telling me that you loved me. You were so patient with me, with Elisa. I am so glad we came with you that week. Do you remember singing Old McDonald to her in the car with that crazy musical book? She still calls that “Boppa’s song.”

I wish that I had gone with you on your trip to Oregon. You asked us to, but Erik was hunting and I couldn’t get word to him… so we stayed home. I wish I had been there to share one more memory… to have been with Mom that day. Sometimes I wonder if it might have made a difference… if I had been there, there would have been an extra person to start CPR sooner… and yet I know that Lord wanted you home that day. As Emily once said, “Heaven must have needed some fresh laughter.” We don’t understand, and we second-guess, and we grieve… but we do trust that God Is, and that He is good.

I love you, Daddy. I wish you could be here with us. I wish we were here together today just because… I wish you could see your beautiful granddaughter Sadie Pearl, and your sweet namesake baby boy – Ephraim Alvis. I wish you could take us out on the boat this afternoon and let Elisa sit on your lap and help you drive.

In all of our hearts, you are here. Our family is what it is because of you. Because of the love you and Mom shared and demonstrated, because of your steady faith… because of your exuberance and your passion. We love you so much.

We don’t exactly know where to go from here. But we want our lives to shine as brightly as yours, we want to carry on your legacy and honor you.

Thank you, Daddy.

We miss you so much.