The Wachob Family: October 2010

The Greek word usually translated "grace" is charis. A year or so ago, I came upon the following definition in a Bible study I was doing at the time.That which affords grace, joy, pleasure, delight, kindness, sweetness, charm and loveliness. And - The merciful kindness of God, by which He exerts His holy influence on our souls, keeps, strengthens and increases us in faith, knowledge, affection, and kindles us to the exercise of the Christian virtues. I loved that definition. In fact, I loved it so much I wanted to name Raina, Charis Abigail. Erik vetoed it. :)

During the last few years, as I have faced my own sinfulness as a mother, and sought the Lord's mercy and His wisdom to grow and change, I have read a lot of books, and sifted through a lot of philosophies and streams of parenting thought. And it is this word - Charis - that has become my own simplified parenting mission.

My little girls - as sweet and funny as they are - are sinners. They need God's grace! They can't obey God's law. So, they need a Savior. They hear that message from my lips dozens of times each day. ( "Elisa, can you obey Mommy perfectly on your own?" "No, Mommy." "Can Mommy obey Jesus perfectly on her own?" "No." "You're right. Both of us are sinners. But who obeyed perfectly?" "Jesus!" )And Jesus - in His beautiful, matchless, overwhelming kindness - died on the cross in the stead of lost sinners like my little girls and me. That's the first part of grace. Jesus, taking on our sins, and restoring our relationship to the Father by his sacrificial death. Jesus - loving us in our sinful state and reaching out to us in love - before we loved Him. Offering a free gift of salvation to those who believe.

The second part of grace is the engracing of the Holy Spirit in the lives and hearts of believers. God's grace is at work in the hearts of Christians - enabling us to walk in His ways - to turn from sin - to do the work He has given us. So my girls hear that message, too. Elisa has professed a belief in Christ. She asked Jesus to come into her heart - unprompted - a few months ago. And, while we don't necessarily assume her salvation - we do talk to her in such a way that we validate her choice. So - when she sins (which is often, believe me!:)), the line of questioning continues. "You can't obey on your own. But who can help you obey?" "Jesus." "Let's ask him to help you obey Mommy better (or act more kindly, or consider your sister above yourself, or have gentle hands or whatever)." And we pray.

I'm not explaining this well - but basically our philosophy of discipline and training boils down to teaching our girls those two aspects of grace. The glorious Gospel of Jesus Christ's shed blood for lost sinners. And the power of Christ to change our hearts and help us walk rightly. On a moment by moment basis, my discipline doesn't always look like that - although I try. Sometimes, I rush up to fighting children, grab the toy or book they are squabbling over and say in exasperation "If you are going to fight, no one gets it!" And then whirl around with the book over my head. :)

I hope that gentle, consistent discipling of our girls will lead to a decreased need for consequences and correction - but absolutely that need still exists. In our house, the consequence aspect of discipline mostly involves logical behavioral consequences. I don't believe the Bible teaches that all acts of disobedience must be corrected with physical discipline, and we choose to only use spanking when our kids willfully defy other correction. For instance, if I take away the toy as a consequence and Sadie throws a fit, kicks me, and screams. (Thankfully, that doesn't happen too often.) I'm not saying that's the right way to discipline, but it's the way we have prayerfully chosen.

I love my kids. They bring me so much joy. And I am so thankful to the Lord for them - and for how He uses parenting to teach me about His character and His grace. It's amazing. I have so far to go, and I fail so often. But I also love sharing what God is teaching us, so please don't take my words as any indication that I think we have it figured out. We definitely don't.

Here are a few of my personal favorite parenting books:

Shepherding A Child's Heart - Tedd Tripp
Heartfelt Discipline - Clay Clarkson
The Mission of Motherhood - Sally Clarkson (and its sequel The Ministry of Motherhood)
Don't make me Count to Three - Ginger Plowman
Everyday Talk - John Younts (still reading this one. It is awesome!)
Sacred Parenting - Gary Thomas

Enjoying the journey of being a mother - and hoping you are too! (well, if you are a mother, that is!:)

Amy and Forrest came to spend two weeks here in Jackson - arriving September 17 and departing October 1. What a blessing to have them here! Forrest and Erik spent one week hunting on horseback (actually, they used horses to pack in, and then walked to actually hunt), while Amy and I explored Jackson with our five little munchkins. We had so much fun during our weeks together! Here are oodles of photos to tell the stories! :)

Day One - Saturday. A hike to Jenny Lake - our third this summer.

Last huckleberries of the season

Fingerpainting at home.

Hike with Jenn Green and kiddos Sunday afternoon.

Kids running ahead

Our five sweet kiddos, dressed in coordinating outfits from Michelle

Big girl Elisa

Is she eating him or kissing him? :)

Raina's first solid foods - at 6 1/2 months. Earlier than I've started with my other girls, and she loves it! This bite was carrots. Now she has sampled squash, green beans, peas, zucchini, prunes, and pears.