A Thousand Gifts

In June, I requested a book from the public library: One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I savored each beautifully written page, then renewed it twice to savor it all over again. Last night I scrawled a few more quotes in my journal so that I could reluctantly hand it in this morning - no renewals left.

Ann is a farmer's wife and mother to six... and she has written a book so wonderful and challenging and inspiring that I don't even know how to describe it. It is lyrical and poetic, and she writes in a sort of fanciful stream-of-consciousness style without adherence to normal sentence structure or word choice. It might actually drive you crazy if you aren't someone who enjoys the magic of words.

The theme of the book is the word eucharisteo. She discovered the word in the passage of Scripture where Jesus takes bread, gives thanks, and offers His disciples the cup symbolizing His sacrifice of blood. The "thanks" is eucharisteo, and, while the meaning is thanksgiving, the word also encapsulates the Greek words for grace (charis) and joy (chara). When we receive God's grace with thanksgiving, we experience joy.

Ann responded to a simple challenge: write down one thousand gifts of God's grace. Writing gifts sent her on a journey of discovery, joy and closeness with the Giver of each gift. She doesn't ignore the heartache of our broken world, but chooses to see God's grace in the brokenness - in "taking the pain that is given, giving thanks, and transforming it to joy." In her journey of chronicling daily gifts, she learned to give thanks for the beauty and the miraculous, and for the mundane, to enter fully into the noise and clatter and mess of her daily work. She also learned to give hard eucharisteo for the hurt. And she learned that the blessings she was given so freely were hers to then give away....

"I murmur eucharisteo thanks in a pile of laundry and the world expands and heightens and surges with the glory of God... Eucharisteo makes the knees the vantage point of life....

When the eyes of the heart focus on God and the hands on washing the feet of Christ - the bones, they sing joy, and the work returns to its purest state: eucharisteo."

I have started my own list. I am loving the art of capturing moments of seemingly unimportant God-glory with my pen. I haven't figured out how this practice of thanksgiving can so permeate my heart that is a way of life.... how I can give thanks and slow the current of busyness by being fully, joyfully present in each messy moment. When a carton of yogurt topples and strawberry goo slimes the just-mopped floor, and the kids jump in the pool fully clothed and I watch the laundry pile higher, and mugs shatter on tile, and vomit pools on crib sheets.... and, impossibly harder, when families lose loved ones, or jobs, or homes. When orphans sleep lonely, hungry. When famines and earthquakes steal life and livelihood. How to see God's grace in ALL things and give thanks because He is good.

I want to learn. So I am writing down thanks.

Today:

#95 - pushing little ones on the swing
#96 - two kids clambering for my lap
#97 - two ripe red tomatoes on the vine
#98 - my husband bent over index cards, writing verses for his far-away brother
#99 - blueberry ice cream

Three Mommies in Training

Miracles in the Mundane

Today was a quiet day. A normal day.

It started at five minutes before 6:00. I was about to hop in the shower in hopes of a few quiet moments before my little girls awoke. But at 5:55, my towel-clad husband carried in my very awake one-year-old. As I snuggled and nursed her in bed, the other two came clamoring in. So much for morning quiet time! :) Erik needed to be at work early, so after a quick shower, I helped him put together breakfast and lunch before meeting the needs of the girls. By 7:00, everyone was settled at the breakfast table with eggs and toast. I read about two pages of Beth Moore's "Praying God's Word," while sipping PG Tipps tea.

After breakfast, I managed to clean up the kitchen(including a massive cinnamon and sugar spill which occurred while I was trying to read :)) while simultaneously playing "driver" for the older girls' morning adventure of "traveling to Nana's." For this adventure, Elisa was dressed in a sleeveless white blouse, long john pants, and corduroy jacket. Sadie was wearing her blue Cinderella dress over the top of a watermelon print swimsuit. Raina was still in her pjs - and a stinky diaper.

After arriving at the imaginary Nana's house, we headed upstairs. Big girls were instructed to make beds, brush teeth, and finish dressing while Mommy settled Raina-bean for a nap. After Raina was asleep, I sat my Sadie-girl down for some instruction and correction regarding the fact that her bed was unmade and she was still wearing a swimsuit. This time, we got the job done right, with a little help from Mom.

School-time! First - our morning calendar, shapes, weather, and counting reviews. Devotions. Elisa's phonogram writing practice. Reading. While I worked with Elisa on her reading, Sadie got to write in a pan filled with white rice. Yup. That required vacuuming when we were done! :) Sadie reviewed the letter E with me, singing the alphabet song and reading an elephant rhyme. We played a rhyming word matching game. Then, we located Bolivia on the world map and read about a boy named Oscar who lives there.


Ziggy Zebra joins us for Sadie's alphabet lessons. He makes things fun!


Right about then, Raina woke up. It took some time to clean up, and the girls worked on some coloring as I changed Raina and put last night's chicken carcass in a pot to boil into broth.

Outside! We checked out the progress in our greenhouse, noting new arugula and cucumber shoots and then lightly watering. Raina loves dirt! We splashed in mud puddles, and swung, and Mom pulled the wagon around the yard. We found a bird's egg and speculated about how the fragile shell had made it's way into the middle of our grass. We went for a short walk - Raina on my back.








Lunchtime. Bananas and peanut butter. Another mess. :)

Stories. We read a few more chapters in "The Long Winter", #6 in the Laura Ingalls Wilder series. Raina sat in my lap and read a board book upside down.

While the younger two slept and Elisa rested, I checked email, quick-cleaned from lunch, folded a load of laundry,



and started dinner.



Elisa got up, and we finished the book. My throat was hoarse, and I somehow burned the edge of my cookbook. :)

Raina joined us, and found the pan of rice from school that I had left in a too-accessible spot. Vacuumed again.

Sadie woke up, and it was time to head back outside. This time, we loaded up the stroller and walked down the road about 1/2 a mile to a neighbor's. "Miss Patty"'s kids are junior high and up, now, and she invites us to use her swing-set and sand box.



Back at home, we rode bikes in the driveway until 6:00.






Dinner. Erik pulled in just as the pasta was going on the table.

Okay. So you're probably thinking - if you made it this far :) - "I get the mundane. Where's the miracle?"

You know what?

It is a miracle that I have three healthy children to love and nurture.
It is a miracle that I have food to nourish their bodies with and clothing to wrap them in.
It is a miracle that I have materials to teach them with, and Bibles to read.
It is a miracle that the sun was shining today and we could play - safely - outside.
It is a miracle that our bodies are strong and we can run and jump in puddles and explore.
It is a miracle that I have a husband who loves me and who adores his three daughters. Who provides for us and protects us.
All of these mundane, simple, quiet, and normal things are made possible because of miracles.

Memorial Day

We are thankful for the men and women who valiantly serve our country today - and those who have served in the past, from the Revolutionary War until the present. Especially remembering those who have given their lives as a sacrifice for our country's freedoms. This photo is a message for Uncle Adam and his group of brave SF men as they faithfully serve in Afghanistan. We love you and pray for you! The video is the girls trying to tell you. Elisa kept saying "save" instead of "serve." I guess that applies, too!

Small Town Life

So... sometimes when my husband leaves for work in the morning, he slips a CD in the player and turns the volume up loud before walking out the door. (I know, can you believe it - we don't have n Ipod. It's still CDs around here.) Usually it's MXPX or POD or any number of other 90s punk rock bands he knows I can't stand! :) This morning, it was Dixie Chicks. Not my favorite, but there are a couple of songs on the album "Fly" that I like. So, I let the girls boogie for a little while as I washed the breakfast dishes. It was pretty funny: three little girls dancing away to "Ready to Run!" I sang along loudly to "Cowboy, take me away!" I love those lyrics, actually. They remind me of why I like Jackson. Now, Jackson is not the pristine, untouched wilderness it once was. But, there is a small town, rugged feel even amid the hustle and bustle of a thriving tourist industry. It is beautiful here, and quiet, and peaceful, and safe.

Here are some reasons why I love living in small-town Wyoming.

1)There are mountains. I can see them from my windows, and we can drive to them within 35 minutes.

2)We have snow and sun! Sometimes I bemoan the late onset of Spring, but we truly love all four of our seasons here. Granted, some of those seasons are short. But it is so easy to be outside any time of year!

3)We can see stars.

4)And sunsets.

5)And elk, and moose, and deer, and bison, and foxes, and trumpeter swans, and bald eagles, and even wolves and grizzly bears...

2) In the off seasons, the national parks are fully accessible - and nearly devoid of other visitors. We can do things like go camping in Yellowstone - without dodging hundreds of slow-moving tourist vehicles. (We did this last weekend. Pictures below!)

5)There is no Target. Or Wal-mart. Or mall! I seriously love this. It may sound inconvenient to you to lack those things, but I am so grateful. We do have K-Mart, and I am forced inside about once a year to purchase something the grocery store doesn't carry - but I cringe.

6) There is little traffic, and no freeway to navigate. Ooh... I am a nervous wreck driving on freeways.

7)My husband loves it here. He would be so happy living the life of a cowboy - but he settles for working indoors at a computer, and spending the weekends enjoying the wildness all around him.

8)We love our small-town church and close-knit community.

Anybody want to move here? :)



Sadie chasing a bluebird. You can see the bird if you enlarge the photo. She kept saying, "Where did the blueberry go?"

Erik at Old Faithful. The patch is Adam's ranger patch. He takes it everywhere to remind him of his brave brother!

Sadie posing on rocks overlooking the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone

Best friends at Grand Prismatic Spring

Pumping water. My big helpers!

Thoughts

Soon, I promise to put up pictures and tell you about how much fun we had with Ephraim, Selah, Nanny, Amy, Michelle and all the friends we saw along the way to Oregon and back. I’ll show you pictures from Erik’s trip to Kwa Zulu Natal and introduce you to the beautiful Smith family and a few irritated rhinoceroses. I will regale you with stories of putting three crying girls in the back of a tow truck when our trusty Suburban roared its last breath on the side of I-84. In the meantime, this little essay has been forming in my thoughts for a while. If you just like pictures of my cute kids, and don’t want to read the late night musings of a mommy – you don’t have to keep reading. Hold out a few more weeks. :)

Have you ever felt useless? As a messy mama wrapped in the arms of small, sticky children – I often do. For me, that sense of helpless ineptitude frequently comes while I sit in church (or stand in the back with a squirming toddler). There are so many opportunities to serve – and I am unable to do ANYTHING. I can’t serve at the crisis pregnancy center, or teach a Bible Study for young adults, or even set up tables for a potluck! I couldn’t travel to South Africa with my husband to help at Seven Rivers Farm or with the clinic they are trying to open in the Zulu village. My hands are full.

Truthfully, I love the ages my sweet girls are right now. I love Raina’s slobbery kisses and crooked-tooth grin. I love Sadie’s wise chatter and kind heart, and I love watching Elisa learn to ride a two-wheeled bicycle and read sentences. I would not trade those precious moments for anything!

But I still feel useless.

Erik is a wonderful husband, and, in his godly wisdom, he reminds me that this season of apparent uselessness is also an important season of hard work that will bear fruit in years to come. The daily work of my hands – the diapers, the laundry, the lessons, the playing, the discipline – is vital.

I may not be able to serve in the ways I could before giving birth to three children, but I can serve faithfully in the day-to-day tasks set before me by my gracious God, who values the nurturing, homemaking, discipling, and loving that shape a mother’s day. If I (we) are faithful in these small things, we can trust that God (far MORE faithful that we!) will be glorified.

What does it mean to be faithful as a wife and mom? Hmmm… I think there have been many, many books written on these topics. I’ve read a few! :) But – here a few thoughts God has been impressing on my heart as I have struggled with what it looks like to live faithfully as a mother of toddlers.

Be Intentional

Whether we work outside of the home or not, being the keeper of a home, the helpmeet of your husband, and the nurturer of your children is a full-time, busy, labor-intensive job. It takes creativity and forethought to do it well. We may not all be “planners” by nature, but I think it is important to take our work seriously, to think through our mission, our goals, and the methods we’ll use to accomplish those things.

I’ve shared before that I like to have a weekly planning time. My chicken-scratched notebook paper fills with everything from detailed meal plans, to household “to-dos”, homeschool ideas and scheduled appointments. Alongside the mundane tasks, I also jot down goals for loving my kids. Last week I wrote down that I wanted to have purposeful one-on-one time with Sadie. We played a great game of Candyland and read a handful of library stories – just the two of us. This week, I want to intentionally encourage Elisa about areas where I see evidences of God’s grace at work in her. Last week was filled with correction, and I want to bless her heart with some gentle encouragement. Sometimes I write down names of friends or family who would enjoy a letter or drawing from the kids and I, or I jot down an idea for a blog post or article (yeah, I don’t get to those very often. But I keep putting them on the list!).

If I am not intentional… I flounder.

Colossians 3:17 “And whatever you do, whether in word or in deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

Have Your Priorities in Order

This one can be hard for me. It is easy to let these slide into opposite order. I am God’s child first and foremost. I need to be walking with Him, enjoying His presence, studying His word and relying on His Spirit’s power each day.

And my husband should be #2. Not my kiddos.

My little girlies are #3. Practically, I think this often looks reverse. If am reading my Bible in the morning, and Sadie or Elisa comes downstairs, I quickly close my Bible and hurry to meet their needs. I don’t have to do that! I should tell them good morning, give them a hug, and encourage them to quietly look at their picture Bibles while I finish reading. They need to know that Mommy loves God the most, and that she loves Daddy more than any of God’s created beings, and that is because she loves God and Daddy that she can love them well.

Ephesians 5:1-2 “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us…”

Follow Your Husband’s Lead

Sometimes I have my own agenda. My own to-do list. And you know what? I resent my husband’s intrusion into my agenda. Isn’t that ridiculous? :) Walking faithfully means submitting to the leadership of our husbands. It means caring about what they care about. If my husband would prefer the kids spend the day outside rather than coming home to a spotless house, I need to set aside my chore list and load the girls up for an outdoor adventure. If he thinks we should sacrifice bedtime for a church function or an evening out, I need to loosen my hold on the schedule and be willing go. If he feels it is more important to shop economically than to eat organically, I need to buy store brand flour and “fake” maple syrup (and, actually, we both agree on that one, but it was a good example! :) ). I need to bend to his priorities for our family.

I want to make Erik’s life easy. I want to make it easy for him to work, to serve, and to shepherd our family. I want him to feel that I am managing our home and caring for kids in a way that honors God and him – and that I can “take care of things” while he is gone, whether to work or overseas. I want to function as his able assistant in our family. He is the head, and I serve him by following his lead.

Ephesians 5:24 “But as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be subject to their husbands in everything.”

Have a Servant’s Heart

I mentioned before that I feel useless because of the many ways that I can’t serve. But I can live a service-oriented life even now! I can write letters of encouragement while the girls scribble a picture for a missionary, a family member, or a friend. I can prepare a meal. I can pray. With my kids, for my kids. I can teach my little ones about life outside of our wealthy community. When they ask for a treat at the grocery store, I can remind them that when we make small sacrifices in how we spend the money God has given us, it enables to give more generously to people in need.

A friend recently involved her three-year old in a cupcake sale to benefit Ugandan children. They raised over $300! How cool is that!

There are ways we can serve. They just might not be the same ways. Or the up-front ways. Or the obvious ways. Be creative.

One Day at a Time

God gives grace for each day. Take every opportunity TODAY to honor the word of God as it says in Titus 2:4-5, “… love their husbands, love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”

March

I didn't upload these in the correct order, but here are snapshots of March at our home. Erik is leaving on Friday for South Africa - helping a missionary there put in a Spring Box and septic system. We are excited for him to and serve! I wish with all my heart that I was going with him, but I know that someday we will have the chance to go together. This season of life I serve him best by caring ably for our home and family while he goes. :)

This is today. Snowstorm. I am getting weary of cold. It's funny. Erik and I both experience a paradigm shift on February 28th. March hits, and our unfettered delight in falling snow and cold morphs into an eagerness for warmth and Spring. We are trying to be patient!



Our sewing project for the last few weeks. Rag dolls!

Princesses reading together.

Papa's hat

Sadie and Raina are snoozing in there. :)

Erik found a great deal on rental skate gear for me. I got a few fun skis in before they stopped grooming for the season.

Preparing to begin our sewing project

Snowman!