Thoughts

Soon, I promise to put up pictures and tell you about how much fun we had with Ephraim, Selah, Nanny, Amy, Michelle and all the friends we saw along the way to Oregon and back. I’ll show you pictures from Erik’s trip to Kwa Zulu Natal and introduce you to the beautiful Smith family and a few irritated rhinoceroses. I will regale you with stories of putting three crying girls in the back of a tow truck when our trusty Suburban roared its last breath on the side of I-84. In the meantime, this little essay has been forming in my thoughts for a while. If you just like pictures of my cute kids, and don’t want to read the late night musings of a mommy – you don’t have to keep reading. Hold out a few more weeks. :)

Have you ever felt useless? As a messy mama wrapped in the arms of small, sticky children – I often do. For me, that sense of helpless ineptitude frequently comes while I sit in church (or stand in the back with a squirming toddler). There are so many opportunities to serve – and I am unable to do ANYTHING. I can’t serve at the crisis pregnancy center, or teach a Bible Study for young adults, or even set up tables for a potluck! I couldn’t travel to South Africa with my husband to help at Seven Rivers Farm or with the clinic they are trying to open in the Zulu village. My hands are full.

Truthfully, I love the ages my sweet girls are right now. I love Raina’s slobbery kisses and crooked-tooth grin. I love Sadie’s wise chatter and kind heart, and I love watching Elisa learn to ride a two-wheeled bicycle and read sentences. I would not trade those precious moments for anything!

But I still feel useless.

Erik is a wonderful husband, and, in his godly wisdom, he reminds me that this season of apparent uselessness is also an important season of hard work that will bear fruit in years to come. The daily work of my hands – the diapers, the laundry, the lessons, the playing, the discipline – is vital.

I may not be able to serve in the ways I could before giving birth to three children, but I can serve faithfully in the day-to-day tasks set before me by my gracious God, who values the nurturing, homemaking, discipling, and loving that shape a mother’s day. If I (we) are faithful in these small things, we can trust that God (far MORE faithful that we!) will be glorified.

What does it mean to be faithful as a wife and mom? Hmmm… I think there have been many, many books written on these topics. I’ve read a few! :) But – here a few thoughts God has been impressing on my heart as I have struggled with what it looks like to live faithfully as a mother of toddlers.

Be Intentional

Whether we work outside of the home or not, being the keeper of a home, the helpmeet of your husband, and the nurturer of your children is a full-time, busy, labor-intensive job. It takes creativity and forethought to do it well. We may not all be “planners” by nature, but I think it is important to take our work seriously, to think through our mission, our goals, and the methods we’ll use to accomplish those things.

I’ve shared before that I like to have a weekly planning time. My chicken-scratched notebook paper fills with everything from detailed meal plans, to household “to-dos”, homeschool ideas and scheduled appointments. Alongside the mundane tasks, I also jot down goals for loving my kids. Last week I wrote down that I wanted to have purposeful one-on-one time with Sadie. We played a great game of Candyland and read a handful of library stories – just the two of us. This week, I want to intentionally encourage Elisa about areas where I see evidences of God’s grace at work in her. Last week was filled with correction, and I want to bless her heart with some gentle encouragement. Sometimes I write down names of friends or family who would enjoy a letter or drawing from the kids and I, or I jot down an idea for a blog post or article (yeah, I don’t get to those very often. But I keep putting them on the list!).

If I am not intentional… I flounder.

Colossians 3:17 “And whatever you do, whether in word or in deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

Have Your Priorities in Order

This one can be hard for me. It is easy to let these slide into opposite order. I am God’s child first and foremost. I need to be walking with Him, enjoying His presence, studying His word and relying on His Spirit’s power each day.

And my husband should be #2. Not my kiddos.

My little girlies are #3. Practically, I think this often looks reverse. If am reading my Bible in the morning, and Sadie or Elisa comes downstairs, I quickly close my Bible and hurry to meet their needs. I don’t have to do that! I should tell them good morning, give them a hug, and encourage them to quietly look at their picture Bibles while I finish reading. They need to know that Mommy loves God the most, and that she loves Daddy more than any of God’s created beings, and that is because she loves God and Daddy that she can love them well.

Ephesians 5:1-2 “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us…”

Follow Your Husband’s Lead

Sometimes I have my own agenda. My own to-do list. And you know what? I resent my husband’s intrusion into my agenda. Isn’t that ridiculous? :) Walking faithfully means submitting to the leadership of our husbands. It means caring about what they care about. If my husband would prefer the kids spend the day outside rather than coming home to a spotless house, I need to set aside my chore list and load the girls up for an outdoor adventure. If he thinks we should sacrifice bedtime for a church function or an evening out, I need to loosen my hold on the schedule and be willing go. If he feels it is more important to shop economically than to eat organically, I need to buy store brand flour and “fake” maple syrup (and, actually, we both agree on that one, but it was a good example! :) ). I need to bend to his priorities for our family.

I want to make Erik’s life easy. I want to make it easy for him to work, to serve, and to shepherd our family. I want him to feel that I am managing our home and caring for kids in a way that honors God and him – and that I can “take care of things” while he is gone, whether to work or overseas. I want to function as his able assistant in our family. He is the head, and I serve him by following his lead.

Ephesians 5:24 “But as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be subject to their husbands in everything.”

Have a Servant’s Heart

I mentioned before that I feel useless because of the many ways that I can’t serve. But I can live a service-oriented life even now! I can write letters of encouragement while the girls scribble a picture for a missionary, a family member, or a friend. I can prepare a meal. I can pray. With my kids, for my kids. I can teach my little ones about life outside of our wealthy community. When they ask for a treat at the grocery store, I can remind them that when we make small sacrifices in how we spend the money God has given us, it enables to give more generously to people in need.

A friend recently involved her three-year old in a cupcake sale to benefit Ugandan children. They raised over $300! How cool is that!

There are ways we can serve. They just might not be the same ways. Or the up-front ways. Or the obvious ways. Be creative.

One Day at a Time

God gives grace for each day. Take every opportunity TODAY to honor the word of God as it says in Titus 2:4-5, “… love their husbands, love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”

March

I didn't upload these in the correct order, but here are snapshots of March at our home. Erik is leaving on Friday for South Africa - helping a missionary there put in a Spring Box and septic system. We are excited for him to and serve! I wish with all my heart that I was going with him, but I know that someday we will have the chance to go together. This season of life I serve him best by caring ably for our home and family while he goes. :)

This is today. Snowstorm. I am getting weary of cold. It's funny. Erik and I both experience a paradigm shift on February 28th. March hits, and our unfettered delight in falling snow and cold morphs into an eagerness for warmth and Spring. We are trying to be patient!



Our sewing project for the last few weeks. Rag dolls!

Princesses reading together.

Papa's hat

Sadie and Raina are snoozing in there. :)

Erik found a great deal on rental skate gear for me. I got a few fun skis in before they stopped grooming for the season.

Preparing to begin our sewing project

Snowman!

Raina Abigail

Click here to view this photo book larger

Tiny Dancer

Little Raina turns one tomorrow. How can that be? I don't know! A year has flown by. Elisa has been sad today. Here baby sister is growing out of babyhood. We are so blessed by our precious little Raina-bean, and while I mourn the passing of days with a wistful mama's heart -- I am so excited for her future. Each day is a gift. Happy Birthday, big girl!

My Valentine's Bouquet

This weekend, Erik and I were in the grocery store together and I made him promise not to buy me roses for Valentine's Day. I know he loves me deeply because he shows me every day. I don't need over-priced Valentine's red roses to prove it. :) So... on Monday, my darling hubby stayed home from church with sick Sadie and sleepy Raina while I took Elisa to Cubbies. I came home to a tidy house, two sleeping children, and this beautiful paper bouquet on the table. Erik had cut up a wildflower poster (we have a stack of random posters leftover from a fundraiser for Erik's dad's work; the girls draw on them!), and written reasons why he loves me on each paper bud. I love it! It is the best bouquet of flowers I have ever been given. Do I have an amazing husband or what??

My Little Girls

A few nights ago, I sat down with a cup of tea and a pen to write down some New Year's sorts of goals for my children... things I want to focus on this year in my training. Goals for learning, goals for behavior, goals for spiritual understanding. I also wrote down ways I thought I could demonstrate love to them - practically, tangibly, in ways meaningful to their unique personalities. And I thought through the areas I see the Lord already working in them, so that I can encourage their little hearts. As I scribbled thoughts, Erik leafed through the Bible to find special verses for them. It was a sweet, simple time of just thinking about my kids - about who they are, how God has created them so uniquely, and how I can respond faithfully to them as precious disciples. It was fun to sort of mentally describe my little girls. I only did this for the two oldest, but even little Raina has such a sweet, spunky, unique personality. I won't share all my goals with you, but I thought you might enjoy some thoughts on who these little munchkins are!


Raina Abigail. She is almost 11 months. Oh, this little girl is trouble!:) No, truly she is sweet. She has a heart-melting smile with six teeth. She does goofy bouncing sorts of dances when she is excited, and she waves her arms in the air. She screams when she wants something. She had been doing really well with signing, but I think she is getting more impatient lately - especially around food. She loves to eat. Anything. We have yet to find a food she refuses. She loves any kind of soup or casserole. She loves beans. She loves veggies and fruit and bread and eggs and meat and cheese. She is starting to feed herself with a spoon, which is a bit messy, but she concentrates hard and actually takes very dainty bites.

She stands independently for about a minute at times, and she cruises everywhere but has only ever taken one tumbling step. She crawled before six months, and she is fast! One day, Elisa carried her to me as I was washing dishes, and said innocently, "Look what little baby I found at the top of the stairs!" Yikes! :)

She naps twice during the day - both are usually pretty short. Every once in a while she'll sleep an hour and half, but they are typically 30 minutes to an hour. Bedtime is at 6:30, and she will usually sleep until 6:00. I know it sounds crazy, but I actually love having her get up early. I can nurse her, change her, have some quiet time while plays on the floor, and get breakfast started - all before the big girls come downstairs at 7:00. Some days it actually works that smoothly, some days it doesn't. :)

She waves - super cutely - and says a fairly discernible "bye-bye." She also says "ma-ma." Those are about her only two "real" words at this point, although she says a lot of other things! :) We are just beginning to learn "no." She doesn't quite get it. If I give her hand a careful swat, she laughs and claps her hands together.

She is darling and content and pleasant. I also think she is going to be a busy, into everything, slightly strong-willed little peanut. And I love her.

Sadie Pearl. Oh, sweet Sadie girl. She is my helter-skelter, flighty, roly-poly, goofy, grinning, happy, sweet, funny, dancing, dreaming little girl. I don't even know how to describe her. She has this amazing sense of humor and timing. She is not shy - and gladly talks to anyone, big or small. She is absolutely adorable. She has this round barrel tummy that doesn't seem to get any smaller. :) She can't focus on a task to save her life - but she can listen to stories for hours. She loves to help. She loves to give. This munchkin would give you the coat off her back. She is kind. She is silly. She is so amazingly smart in some ways, but she is also just her own person. She doesn't have an interest in learning letters yet, and I have just decided that it is okay! She notices and remembers details I pay no attention to. She articulates herself beautifully and is a fabulous story-teller. She sings. All the time.

In settling squabbles, Sadie is almost always the screaming victim. (In our house, an ungodly reaction receives equal consequences to the perpetrator, but she hasn't figured out that if she doesn't scream, only Elisa is disciplined!:))

She still naps every day for about 2 hours. She got skates and skis this year, and is very balanced and steady on both - but she is slow. It is pretty cute. Little Sadie. You just can't hurry her!

Sadie is wonderful. At the risk of overusing the word, she is really just sweet. Completely, amazingly sweet. She plods through each day at her own happy, slow pace, enjoying the beauty around her and tasting each snowflake. She dances through life - literally. And you know what? I love her, too.

Elisa Joy. My vibrant firstborn. Sometimes I feel like Elisa is the little girl in the old nursery rhyme. Do you remember this one? "There was a little girl who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. And when she was good, she was very very good. And when she was bad, she was horrid." Elisa is amazing. She is determined and strong. She is such a take-charge girl. She loves to create games for her and Sadie to play and direct Sadie on all aspects of play. She loves to take charge of Raina - helping me by feeding her, or just carrying her around the house (which I have just started allowing with certain rules in place.) She loves caring for her dolls and rocking them to sleep. She loves planning pretend parties for all the household "babies." She is sweet and helpful and sometimes we have these incredibly grown-up, pleasant, insightful conversations. She pays attention to everything, and wants to know all the details of whatever Erik and I are discussing. :) She is tender and nurturing and sweetly mature.

However, when she doesn't feel like being tender and sweet (usually in the late afternoons when she still sort of needs a nap, but doesn't take one anymore), she can be a very challenging little girl. She has wild streak that tends towards meanness during those times and I have to really pray for God's wisdom - to speak His truth from His word and try to reach her heart. Sometimes I know that she just needs an extra snuggle and a chapter from Laura Ingalls Wilder. Or - she needs to strap on her skis and do some loops around the yard! :)

For all her leadership tendencies, Elisa is also very shy. She is quiet in unfamiliar settings and we are working on being polite and friendly when meeting new people!

She loves reading with Mom - and is learning to read on her own. She has begun sounding out simple words, and she loves writing. One of her favorite things is to write notes - and she will often be the one to remind me, "Let's write a thank you note to Gramma," or "Let's send a letter to Nana." I think she will be a wonderful encourager in that way. She is learning to sew and she is dying to make her own rag doll like Laura has in the Little House books. She is terrific cross-country skier. She is so fast. I can pull the other girls, and she will match my pace until she tires, then hang on the back and let me pull her.

Last week, we celebrated her 5th birthday. She could not decide what kind of a party to have, and she finally just told me, "I want to have just Gramma and Grampa over for pizza and cupcakes and then go for a night ski." So, we did. She and Sadie got headlamps for Christmas, and she was pretty happy to strap hers on and ski through the moonlit dark. It was a breathtaking night - cold and clear and with a dazzling full moon.

Elisa is a paradox in so many ways, and I am constantly trying to figure out how to train her gently, keep her challenged as my bright and busy oldest child, and just enjoy her strong, endearing personality. And - yup - I love her, too.

Christmas Without Pictures

One of the joys and the challenges of being "outnumbered" parents is that your hands are always full! :) We have had a wonderful winter, filled with family and snow and playing outdoors, adventures, good food, and sweet moments with our little girls. But you know what? I have no pictures. None. In those precious Kodak moments, Erik and I just shrug at each other. The camera is deeply buried, and our hands are filled with fun, busy, playing, laughing, sometimes screaming little girls. :)

So... here are the highlights of our holiday season, with no photos to display alongside the words.

• Michelle arrived the 23rd, and we spent the night at Teton Science School, where Erik's extended family had overtaken the guest lodging and dining facilities. We decorated a tree in the main lodge and played cards with uncles, aunts and cousins I had previously only met at weddings.
  
• A ski/snowmobile trip to Granite Hot Springs on Christmas Eve. A beautiful candlelit church service, then staying up late and watching the Nativity story while our Poteca bread was baking.
• Christmas morning at home. We were thankful to have the opportunity for a quieter morning with our little ones and my sister and then spend the rest of the day with the larger Wachob/Hanks crowd. Sweet Raina opened one gift and then slept through the rest of her presents. :) I laughed. Is she the neglected third child, or what?
• Christmas Day ski and snowshoe, an elk refuge sleigh ride, lots of Christmas cookies, and endless cups of Becky's homemade cocoa
• more time with Michelle, including a ski up Death Canyon trail. We didn't make it very far. :)
• time with friends Dan and Beth, and their baby Abby
  
• My mom arrived New Year's Eve, and we had a wonderful week with her - ice skating, more skiing, Thai food, and low-key days at home
• friends from CO for Erik's birthday and another big ski to the hot springs
  

Now, it's back to normal. Maybe now I'll have time to take pictures! :)