Thoughts

Soon, I promise to put up pictures and tell you about how much fun we had with Ephraim, Selah, Nanny, Amy, Michelle and all the friends we saw along the way to Oregon and back. I’ll show you pictures from Erik’s trip to Kwa Zulu Natal and introduce you to the beautiful Smith family and a few irritated rhinoceroses. I will regale you with stories of putting three crying girls in the back of a tow truck when our trusty Suburban roared its last breath on the side of I-84. In the meantime, this little essay has been forming in my thoughts for a while. If you just like pictures of my cute kids, and don’t want to read the late night musings of a mommy – you don’t have to keep reading. Hold out a few more weeks. :)

Have you ever felt useless? As a messy mama wrapped in the arms of small, sticky children – I often do. For me, that sense of helpless ineptitude frequently comes while I sit in church (or stand in the back with a squirming toddler). There are so many opportunities to serve – and I am unable to do ANYTHING. I can’t serve at the crisis pregnancy center, or teach a Bible Study for young adults, or even set up tables for a potluck! I couldn’t travel to South Africa with my husband to help at Seven Rivers Farm or with the clinic they are trying to open in the Zulu village. My hands are full.

Truthfully, I love the ages my sweet girls are right now. I love Raina’s slobbery kisses and crooked-tooth grin. I love Sadie’s wise chatter and kind heart, and I love watching Elisa learn to ride a two-wheeled bicycle and read sentences. I would not trade those precious moments for anything!

But I still feel useless.

Erik is a wonderful husband, and, in his godly wisdom, he reminds me that this season of apparent uselessness is also an important season of hard work that will bear fruit in years to come. The daily work of my hands – the diapers, the laundry, the lessons, the playing, the discipline – is vital.

I may not be able to serve in the ways I could before giving birth to three children, but I can serve faithfully in the day-to-day tasks set before me by my gracious God, who values the nurturing, homemaking, discipling, and loving that shape a mother’s day. If I (we) are faithful in these small things, we can trust that God (far MORE faithful that we!) will be glorified.

What does it mean to be faithful as a wife and mom? Hmmm… I think there have been many, many books written on these topics. I’ve read a few! :) But – here a few thoughts God has been impressing on my heart as I have struggled with what it looks like to live faithfully as a mother of toddlers.

Be Intentional

Whether we work outside of the home or not, being the keeper of a home, the helpmeet of your husband, and the nurturer of your children is a full-time, busy, labor-intensive job. It takes creativity and forethought to do it well. We may not all be “planners” by nature, but I think it is important to take our work seriously, to think through our mission, our goals, and the methods we’ll use to accomplish those things.

I’ve shared before that I like to have a weekly planning time. My chicken-scratched notebook paper fills with everything from detailed meal plans, to household “to-dos”, homeschool ideas and scheduled appointments. Alongside the mundane tasks, I also jot down goals for loving my kids. Last week I wrote down that I wanted to have purposeful one-on-one time with Sadie. We played a great game of Candyland and read a handful of library stories – just the two of us. This week, I want to intentionally encourage Elisa about areas where I see evidences of God’s grace at work in her. Last week was filled with correction, and I want to bless her heart with some gentle encouragement. Sometimes I write down names of friends or family who would enjoy a letter or drawing from the kids and I, or I jot down an idea for a blog post or article (yeah, I don’t get to those very often. But I keep putting them on the list!).

If I am not intentional… I flounder.

Colossians 3:17 “And whatever you do, whether in word or in deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

Have Your Priorities in Order

This one can be hard for me. It is easy to let these slide into opposite order. I am God’s child first and foremost. I need to be walking with Him, enjoying His presence, studying His word and relying on His Spirit’s power each day.

And my husband should be #2. Not my kiddos.

My little girlies are #3. Practically, I think this often looks reverse. If am reading my Bible in the morning, and Sadie or Elisa comes downstairs, I quickly close my Bible and hurry to meet their needs. I don’t have to do that! I should tell them good morning, give them a hug, and encourage them to quietly look at their picture Bibles while I finish reading. They need to know that Mommy loves God the most, and that she loves Daddy more than any of God’s created beings, and that is because she loves God and Daddy that she can love them well.

Ephesians 5:1-2 “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us…”

Follow Your Husband’s Lead

Sometimes I have my own agenda. My own to-do list. And you know what? I resent my husband’s intrusion into my agenda. Isn’t that ridiculous? :) Walking faithfully means submitting to the leadership of our husbands. It means caring about what they care about. If my husband would prefer the kids spend the day outside rather than coming home to a spotless house, I need to set aside my chore list and load the girls up for an outdoor adventure. If he thinks we should sacrifice bedtime for a church function or an evening out, I need to loosen my hold on the schedule and be willing go. If he feels it is more important to shop economically than to eat organically, I need to buy store brand flour and “fake” maple syrup (and, actually, we both agree on that one, but it was a good example! :) ). I need to bend to his priorities for our family.

I want to make Erik’s life easy. I want to make it easy for him to work, to serve, and to shepherd our family. I want him to feel that I am managing our home and caring for kids in a way that honors God and him – and that I can “take care of things” while he is gone, whether to work or overseas. I want to function as his able assistant in our family. He is the head, and I serve him by following his lead.

Ephesians 5:24 “But as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be subject to their husbands in everything.”

Have a Servant’s Heart

I mentioned before that I feel useless because of the many ways that I can’t serve. But I can live a service-oriented life even now! I can write letters of encouragement while the girls scribble a picture for a missionary, a family member, or a friend. I can prepare a meal. I can pray. With my kids, for my kids. I can teach my little ones about life outside of our wealthy community. When they ask for a treat at the grocery store, I can remind them that when we make small sacrifices in how we spend the money God has given us, it enables to give more generously to people in need.

A friend recently involved her three-year old in a cupcake sale to benefit Ugandan children. They raised over $300! How cool is that!

There are ways we can serve. They just might not be the same ways. Or the up-front ways. Or the obvious ways. Be creative.

One Day at a Time

God gives grace for each day. Take every opportunity TODAY to honor the word of God as it says in Titus 2:4-5, “… love their husbands, love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”