Gospel-Centered Parenting

I mentioned in my last post that while my awesome husband has been in Africa, I have been trying to be faithful and purposeful in each day... in how I manage my home in his absence, in how I minister to, discipline and love my girls, in quiet times and prayer, and in how I begin to mentally and spiritually prepare for this new little one who will join our family in the next few weeks! Usually if Erik is gone, I find myself filling the time with novels or movies that make the lonely evenings pass by, and this time I have prayed for God's grace to not lean on false sources of comfort or companionship, but to lean on the Lord instead.

Every night, I have cleaned the house and tried to complete all the chores I could (making mornings happier!:)), and then have settled in with pjs on to read. I feel like the Lord is showing me so much about how I have failed in my mothering (thankful for his forgiveness!) and how to follow after His pattern. I have been really blessed by reading through Sally Clarkson's "Mission of Motherhood" for the second time and thinking through how to serve, love, disciple, teach and, most importantly, display God's grace to my precious girls. One thing the Lord has shown me so clearly in these last two weeks is that I cannot expect my kids to stop sinning! They are, after all, sinners! Born in the flesh, full of selfishness and wickedness. They are in need of a Savior, just as their mom and dad are. And, they haven't called on His name yet! My children are not yet believers, though we pray every day for their salvation. They don't have the Holy Spirit. Elisa told me the other day that she likes to sin. After I got over my initial shock, I realized, "Of course you do. In my flesh, I like to sin, too!"

My neighbor Sera loaned me a set of CDs from a conference called "Women Discipling Women," and I have been listening to a couple of the talks as I fold laundry or do the dishes. Last night I spread scrapbooking supplies on the floor and listened to an hour-long talk on Gospel-Centered Parenting. It was phenomenal. The basic point is this: We don't show our kids the law in order to make them obey it. We don't discipline and train them so that we will be glorified as good parents, or even to establish peace in our homes (although that's a worthy goal!). We give our kids the law in order that they will see that they cannot live up to it. They will fail! They are law-breakers. All their good deeds are filthy rags because they are defiled by sin. But - thanks be to God - He sent a Savior who willingly took their sin and mine upon Himself and will impart His perfect, sinless record to us if we believe in Him! The central teaching of all my discipline and training should be, "You sinned. Your sin has separated from you from God. But God loves us! And He died for you. And if you believe in Him, He will give you His sinless record, and He will empower you by His Spirit to choose to walk in His ways. You can't choose what is right on your own. But by God's grace, He will help you choose what is right and what honors Him." I need to focus on the beauty of God's grace in the moments when my children fail to obey - not on demanding obedience from them or being shocked because they - again - sinned. Not that I shouldn't train them in obedience or discipline when they don't. But my heart and the way I approach them needs to be different.

This morning, I took my wayward, tired, grumpy four-year-old in my arms and told her that she was a sinner. And that mommy is a sinner. And that Jesus loves us and He took our sin on Himself at the cross. And isn't that amazing, that He loves us that much! She listened and we snuggled, and I stroked her fresh-from bed blonde hair, and something softened in her.

I don't know exactly how the moment by moment aspects of my parenting will change as God continues to show me His ways. But I do know I need His grace - and so do my little ones.

~

Erik is currently sleeping after a day of sightseeing in the Masai Mara. Tomorrow they will drive to Nairobi and catch a flight home. The girls and I are driving to Salt Lake to pick him up on Thursday night. I am so excited to plant a big kiss on my hubby's lips. :) I have been debating the wisdom of making the 5 hour drive, but unless something changes, I think we will head down. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday, and I am only 2 cm dilated, so the doctor felt I was safe to go.

The kids are so excited to see him. I am trying to think of fun, creative ways to welcome him. Any ideas?